The Things That Go Unsaid

According to the book Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi, we eat, therefore we poop. You know it, I know it, he knows it. But sometimes we pretend that we don’t.

When my husband and I first started dating, we avoided the subject completely. If one of us had to do the doo, we fabricated some reason to excuse ourselves and snuck away. We got to the point where we could subtly hint that we needed to do our business, but still we’d go as far away as possible to do it.

Eventually, we didn’t need to go so far away, and we weren’t so subtle about the hinting. If the bathroom was next to the room we were occupying together, we’d ask the other to play The Song – a predetermined song that would create sufficient cover noise so that the one baring their bottom in the adjacent room could feel sufficiently comfortable doing so.

Four years later, we just say we need to do it and tell the other to get lost.

I realize that some people strongly believe that *some* things should just remain unmentioned, but there are a few reasons I believe it’s a healthy thing to talk about.

First of all, it’s humorous. Yes, it’s immature, but we’ve all been kids once and many of us still have that inner child. We are grown ups now, which means we shouldn’t be amused by something so basic and natural. But the fact that we shouldn’t be amused makes it all the more enticing. The fact that you’re even reading this proves that.

Is humor a good reason to talk about things below our maturity level? Duh! Anything that boosts your mood is good by my book.

Another reason to talk about it is our health. Mood boost aside, pooping isn’t just natural, it’s a crucial part of maintaining good health. We have all heard of the importance of fiber, and know the remaining regular is an important aspect of good health. But what if you aren’t regular? What if your particular diet isn’t working for you? If it’s working for your partner, but not working for you, isn’t that something worth talking about?

My husband and I usually eat together, which means we generally eat the same things. I wouldn’t want modesty or embarrassment on any subject to perpetuate a problem with something as important as bowel health. I would gladly make changes to my diet if it helped someone important to me to remain healthy.

I am sure there are more reasons, and I encourage you to come up with your own (and even share them), but the last reason to be open about it is to avoid anxiety. Perhaps you are feeling under the weather (caused by perhaps the worst form of poop – diarrhea), the last thing you want is to feel embarrassment or anxiety about it – i.e. trying to keep it a secret at the expense of your own physical or mental discomfort.

Long story short, it’s not a subject that people necessarily like to hear about. There are even reasons not to talk about it. You definitely want to exercise discretion should you choose to bring it up. For instance, though my nephew may disagree, the dinner table is neither the time nor the place.

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. ~Miles Franklin