Maybe “Love Triangle” has too strong of an implication. But what do you call it when your husband and your dog are at odds with each other? Before you come to the wrong conclusion, let me give you a little background on the situation.
First there is my dog. He is nearly seven years old, and I have had him for six and a half of those years. Somewhere along the way, he became completely and utterly attached to me.
Then, there is me. Many years back I was coming out of a not so great relationship (actually, make that a horrible relationship) and I was kinda damaged, for lack of a better word. The only good thing that came from the relationship, other than the many life lessons that I wish I had learned on TV instead, was my dog. Sometimes I have trouble reaching out for support from others, and I’ve lost touch with many friends. So somewhere along the way, in spite of my dog having no clue what’s going in my head, I became equally attached to him.
There is one more thing about my dog that I believe is relevant to how much attention he actually requires. He is what I consider a “special needs” dog. He is one of the strangest dogs I have ever encountered and has an intense fear of inanimate objects. For instance, when he was in a puppy, he refused even to stay in a room with a plastic bag. Now, he is occasionally brave enough to investigate the things that scare him. If he decides they are too scary, he will leave. But he is easily spooked. The other day he knocked over an empty soda can off the coffee table, which fell on the floor and made a noise. After fleeing the scene, he spent ten or so minutes shaking uncontrollably in the bedroom before he calmed down.
Last, but certainly not least, there is the man that became my husband. We met four and a half years ago online. We lived in different countries and were both in college, so we only saw each other on spring, summer, and winter breaks, however long or short they happened to be.
When we first met, my dog was not the least bit pleased, and he openly expressed that. No, he’s not aggressive. He doesn’t bite, he doesn’t growl, and most of the time he is actually very friendly. And if you watched him throughout the course of the day, you probably wouldn’t notice any jealousy or resentment. But if you happen to catch him the moment he notices that I am cuddling with someone other than him, you can’t miss his reaction. At first, he would forcefully wedge himself between us.
Over the years, the two of them have done quite a bit of bonding, not all of it voluntary. Sometimes they get along quite well and have fun playing with each other or cuddling. But there are still many jealous looks, and my dog isn’t even necessarily the source of all of them.
Some of you may have heard of the dog training show called “It’s Me or The Dog,” which is an ultimatum that I am almost surprised my husband hasn’t given to me. My husband jokes that he knows better than to ask me to choose between them.
Currently, I am undecided on the issue of having kids. Sometimes I see a baby and they become all I can think about, and sometimes other things suppress the urge altogether. The rivalry between my dog and my husband, even though it is becoming more of a joke than a problem, makes me wonder if either of them can handle sharing attention with yet another living being.
He that is not jealous is not in love. ~St. Augustine
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